I am all for allowing same-sex marriage as a way to promote the rights and value of queer individuals in our society. However, I rarely consider the importance "marriage" has to couples (as opposed to some other kind of legally recognized partnership). Considering the style of relationship I have with my partner, and the culture around marriage and being married, I have not wanted anything to do with marriage for myself. And when it came to other couples of all types, I must admit that I assumed the same would likely be true.
More and more I'm finding that this is not the case, and that I'm just a bit out of the mainstream culture loop (though I don't see this as a bad thing). An opposite-sexed couple I know recently announced their plans to marry, and this (almost to my surprise) generated a lot of excitement amongst friends and family. "What was the big deal", I wondered (silently), "after all, they already own a house and live together! What more commitment could you need? What changes other than some small articles of jewelery and an official word/status/label change?"
Well, I guess that's just it... the word "marriage" is very powerful in our society and has many positive associations for a lot of people. I heard comments like "now we can welcome ______ officially into our family", "now I can call you my _____-in-law officially", and so on. This official status generated a lot of positive excitement despite the level of commitment that was already obvious. While I saw the fight for "marriage" as an important step towards reducing discrimination, I now understand its importance more personally. I am starting to understand why same-sex couples personally want "marriage" and not some legally equivalent registered partnership. It's just a bit funny that I had to realize that through an opposite-sex couple :).
notes:
1. It's late and I'm tired. If anything is confusing here, post a comment and I'll try to clear up the confusion.
2. I still don't think I understand marriage personally, but am beginning to understand it's importance vicariously :).
mekyla
