Getting over our biases

I am pretty tolerant about things, in general. I am a big supporter of gay marriage, equal rights, etc. I am also not a fan of current gender roles, gender definitions, and such. I am queer in the sense that I do not accept the stereotypical gender roles, and I see a great deal of overlap. Plus, I think that a lot of the gender roles are really just people trying to fit into what they think their gender should be, rather than doing something that they honestly feel is right. I am straight, and while I sometimes wish I were bisexual, I have no problems being a tolerant straight guy. Some of the things I do, such as cry when I hike up an amazing mountain, or cry when I listen to a sad and beautiful song, might be considered effeminate or "gay" by many. But many other things that I do would not at all be considered gay. And when it comes down to it, I do seek deep, intimate bonds with males, but I do not seek sexual ones, and I seek intimate bonds that would be considered extremely good friendship, rather than lovers. It is love, of a different sort. I would have no problem cuddling with a guy, but still, not the same sort of loving relationship that I seek with someone of the opposite sex. I still want to be able to run home and tell a certain male friend of mine, who happens to run this site, my feelings and such, but not so much as I would love to do that with a girlfriend.

I say all this so that you do not think me a monster for saying the rest of this.

As much as I support homosexuality, transgenderedness, etc., for some odd reason, deep down inside of me, I never thought that a homosexual relationship could be as loving as a heterosexual one. I had always thought that a homosexual relationship was about as strong as my relationship with my bestest of friends, and anything more than that was posing, to look like what the standard societal view of "normal" is. I suppose I thought this because I could not possibly feel the same level of bonding with a male friend as I felt with my girlfriend when we were going out. That is because for me, an extremely good friend is the highest level of lovingness that a guy can ever get with me, because that is just the way that I am. But fortunately, my eyes have been opened, and having for the first time witnessed true homosexual love, I can see that it is just as true and real and beautiful as any heterosexual love.

I see this because for the last week, and until tomorrow, my housemate's fiance is over. They are a cute lesbian couple. Very cute! They are infatuated with each other! They were playing the piano earlier, and one was teaching the other how to play. They kiss and cuddle just like any male/female combination would. It is clear that they are deeply in love, and I think that they will make for a great wife and wife when they get married. My eyes have been opened because this is the first time I have really been able to witness a true homosexual relationship in private life. Everyone acts differently in public life, whether a homo or hetero couple. Even a polygamous relationship is very different in public than in the house. I am glad that I have seen this. It has been a nice week.

Now to continue the battle to get rid of the stereotypical ideas of homosexuality! One thing that I have noticed for a while, even from people like my own mother (who supports homosexuality and homosexual marriage), is that a lot of people think that the stereotypical gay guy will act like the stereotypical straight female, and the stereotypical gay female will act like the stereotypical straight male (but in a different way from being transgendered. Not sure if you see what I mean, but hopefully you do). Sure, my housemate has some stereotypical lesbian traits. She has short hair, likes tools a great deal, etc. But she also has a lot of qualities that are considered very feminine, in our stereotypicalized, gender-divided society. Her fiance, on the other hand, seems very much like a stereotypical straight girl. At least at first glance. This is an issue that goes so much deeper than this post, or this issue, or even the gender debate. There is so much overlap, and individuality, with all people, no matter what aspect of humanity you are looking at. It would be nice if one day we were able to drop the word "stereotypical" from our vocabularies, because everyone would recognize the beauty and individuality of everyone, and not try and fit every individual into a pigeon-hole of what they should be, based on a couple of their traits or their background or their life experiences, or whatever.