We had a few thoughts regarding this question that is presented in the introduction:
"Some organizations wish to present same-sex relations as loving and monogamous, while other organizations present polyamory as a equally valid alternative. Can this conflict be resolved? Is there even a conflict?"
First of all, at least in my family, it is pretty evident that the types of relationships people of my generation establish with others (I'm in my 20s), and the types of relationships withat my parents establish with others, is different. For example, it is more acceptable for someone to go out for coffee with someone else of the opposite sex even though they are in a commited relationship with someone else. So the restrictions we place on partner re: what types of relationships they are allowed to establish with what 'types' of people, are lessening. This is just an observation of the people I know, and I am aware that in different groups, circumstances may differ. But this observation leads into something applicable to non-heterosexual (non-gendernormative) individuals.
How are the usual rules regarding acceptable relationships with such individuals affected? With strictly gay people, it seems sensical that someone migth just flip the restrictions around. As a straight person, my partner might not wish me to have close friendships with someone else of the opposite sex, and as a gay person, my partner might not wish me to have close friendships with someone else of the same sex. But already there is some alteration of the usual rules we place on each other because of the difference in sexual orientation. This may be conscious but perhaps more likely unconscious -- simply that if my partner were to have a close relationship with someone that I felt ze could really 'fall in love with', I might feel threatened/jealous/etc.
Bisexuality blurs these rules again, for obvious reasons. Perhaps with bisexual couples, the rules applied (again, consciously or otherwise) no longer consider sex/gender. It may be that my partner doesn't wish me to have anything beyond a certain 'level' of relationship with /anyone/. With this said, I have a feeling that it doesn't work quite this way with a lot of bisexual couples. I may feel comfortable with my partner being close to people of one sex, but not people of another sex.
As far as non-normatively gendered people go, this might be similar to the bisexual case, or more complex, but you get the idea.
The point is that non-heteronormative relationships are already leaving the well-marked trail and the people involved could more likely find themselves talking about what is an acceptable friendship with someone else, and what is not. And this for some may lead to discussions of open relationships, or at least establishing friendships with others that are closer than those that would usually be allowed with a typical heterosexual relationship. The presentation of homosexual relationships as loving and monogamous by many lgbtq organizations has likely been important for the advancemence of rights and tolerance for lgbtq individuals. However, it may be that the very nature of non-heteronormative relationships challenges the concept of a strict (absolute) monogamy.
Or you may disagree :). Your comments are appreciated.
